I actually have a lot of things to write, I’m just not sure if I should write them. That is, I have a lot of things on my heart. I’m just not sure if I want to air them in so public a forum. (Though, to be fair, I’m not really sure how “public” I can call this forum, given the population of my readership,=) but you know what I mean.) The issues I am having are very sensitive and involve other people, and I don’t know how much is too much to expose.
So I guess I will just discuss what could either be extremely personal and relevant to what is going on in my life or purely hypothetical. I’ll just leave it a mystery.
I was thinking about whether a person has to be intentionally hurting someone for them to be an “abuser.” I know that behavior can be traumatizing even if the actor doesn’t intend it to be, but can you call that person an abuser, if they were not intending to hurt or, especially, intending to help? I know that their intention doesn’t change the affect on the recipient of their behavior, but shouldn’t it have some impact on how those actions define them? I’m not talking about pedophiles who think they have consenting relationships with their victims or people who think it’s a good idea to beat their kids until they do their homework or get A’s. I am talking about people who act from the very best intentions and, in acting from a place of humanity and brokenness and pain – just like we all do – they make mistakes.
For the record, this may sound a little defensive because it is. I’m sure I have done this to people. But, to be fair, I could be talking about people who have sinned against me as well. I know that there are at least a couple people who have done this to me. So, I suppose, it really is more of a hypothetical than a specific thing going on in my life right now. At least, that’s not all it is.
Hm. Apparently, I’m not that good at leaving things a mystery.