I have been feeling kind of like I’m sleepwalking or in a coma. I mean, I always feel like there is a sort of screen between me and the world. It’s like an extra layer that means that even when I am touching things, I’m not really touching them. It’s like being…removed from…everything. But lately…it’s been worse. I feel insulated to the point of encapsulation. I think it’s stress. There’s just so much to think about and the Brain is done, I think. But my life is not done, so I keep pushing through. It just takes so much more effort lately. All that effort and it feels like nothing gets done. I feel like I’m no good to anyone or for anything.
But then I hear Matt Redman singing Your Grace Finds Me: “So I’m breathing in your grace and breathing out your praise, I’m breathing in your praise. Forever, I’ll be breathing in your grace and breathing out your praise.” And then I hear Mercy Me singing All Of Creation: “The reason we breathe is to sing of his glory.” The very reason we breathe is to sing of his glory. God gives us breath for his own purposes. God gives us the Spirit to live within us. So we can fulfill his purposes.
All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. -Acts 2:4
The Spirit he gives us is the same Spirit that was with him at the Creation of the world:
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. -Genesis 1:1-2
The word translated as Spirit in Genesis 1 is the same word translated here as breath:
I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. -Genesis 6:17
God gives us his Spirit which is also his breath. His breath lives with our breath and compels us to glorify the Lord constantly, just like the Spirit has been doing from before the beginning of time. Even when the heart and the body are exhausted. Even when the brain wants to shut down entirely. The Spirit still works within us so that we can continue to bless his name. It is, once again, all God’s work and none of mine.
Glorifying God is our highest purpose. What satisfaction does one need beyond fulfilling their highest purpose? What greater thing can we hope to do or be than praising his name with the angels and all of Creation? And we can do that just by breathing. So we can rest knowing that we can praise God and satisfy our souls while we do nothing else. And maybe the release from the need to do anything else will allow us to rely on God to strengthen us to do everything else. Maybe that’s how we start to rely on the Lord and not on our own understanding or work.
Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits–
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
[Oh, and just a little PS for That Weird Kid from the Gas Station: I downloaded your software onto my tablet and used it to do a Bible word study to get this information. I guess there’s a first time for everything. I love you, too. =) ]